ugg sale clearance boots How To Be A Parisian Wherever You Are explains the rules of French life
What’s more, this is no ordinary group of French friends.
Here, in an exclusive extract, they reveal the new rules of being Parisian and insist that no matter what your style, nothing is as cool as cleverness.
WHAT YOU WON’T FIND IN HER CLOSET
Three inch heels. Why live life halfway?Logos: You are not a billboardNylon, polyester, viscose and vinyl will make you sweaty, smelly and shinySweatpants. No man should ever see you in those. Except your gym teacher and even then.
PARENTING LIKE A PARISIENNE
A Parisienne never hires a babysitter who is too pretty, always finding the less attractive one to be far more competent.
She often murmurs, with feigned discomfort, that she’s a bit worried that her daughter is ‘rather precocious’. It’s her way of saying that her child is a genius or that she takes after her mother.
She often pretends that her child is sick to get her out of dinner parties that will bore her to death. Then she feels guilty and worries that some god will actually make her baby ill to punish her for her lies.
She doesn’t baulk at changing nappies but she never mentions the nasty details of stomach bugs or other ailments in public. Even at the paediatrician’s, she is reluctant to pronounce those words out loud.
She doesn’t automatically breast feed her children only if she wants to. And anyone who tells her what she should and shouldn’t do with her breasts had better beware. Particularly if he’s a man.
She occasionally lets her children sleep in her bed, especially because all the parenting books ever written have forbidden it and she likes to stand out from the crowd.
She buys time with sweets so she can finish her phone conversation with her best friend,
She quite likes some of her children’s friends, but others she thinks are real idiots. And she makes no particular effort to hide her opinion being hypocritical would just be setting a bad example.
She can spend hours playing make believe with her little ones. She’d be quite happy to live in one of their imaginary worlds forever, if only she didn’t have to return to the adult life to earn a living.
The bag. It’s not an accessory, it’s your home. It’s an indispensable shambles where you’re just as likely to find a shrivelled up four leaf clover as an old electricity bill. If it’s beautiful on the outside, that’s just to keep up appearances. And so that no one ever wonders what’s inside.
The little black blazer. It smartens up a scruffy pair of jeans (the ones you wear all the time) and you wear it on days when you don’t want to make it look too obvious that you don’t feel like making an effort.
Ballet flats. Your equivalent of slippers. You don’t choose between comfort and elegance; for you, it’s all or nothing. Nobody ever saw Audrey Hepburn wearing carpet slippers.
A small silk scarf. It has more than one function. First, it adds a touch of colour to a dark outfit without running the risk of a fashion faux pas. Then, when it rains, you wear it over your head like Romy Schneider. And, on occasion, you can even use it to wipe your child’s nose when you’ve run out of tissues.
A long trench, of
course, for warmer weather. You know it doesn’t keep you as warm as a
down jacket. But when you put on a down jacket, you feel like you’re
voluntarily adding extra love handles.
A thick scarf. Precisely because you don’t own a parka. And despite pretending otherwise, sometimes you get cold.
The oversized sweater that slips off your shoulder. You wear it the day after a party, as if you’d snuggled up in a quilt. It’s as soft as a teddy bear, as calming as Xanax, as wide as a screen, perfect for days when you feel your hips too much.
Basic oversized sunglasses. Every day, even when it’s raining, because you always have a reason to wear them: too bright out, a hangover, tears running down your face, a desire to be mysterious.